IT'S
EMBARRASSING

She likes me drinking again but I'm not so sure
I'm more fun at parties than I am with her
This self regulation is such a chore
I know I don't need it but I'm so fucking bored

​

It's been a rough day, let's get some cash out
I'm ready to drink until I black out
It's my favorite place to go drinking with my gal
So come on baby baby let's go to the Royale

​

I've plucked all the hairs off of the dog
No quick fix for this mid week slog
Beer in my hair and I look like a slob
How much do I really need this job?

​

It's been a rough day, let's get some cash out
I'm ready to drink until I black out
It's my favorite place to go drinking with my gal
So come on baby baby let's go to the Royale

Summer break of 99
Got no friends, I'll go online
Put myself a little older
Watch for Mom over my shoulder

​

AOL Chatroom, Dial-up speed
Do I believe he's just 16?
Wanna cyber, got a pic?
First time shaving to Fat Lip

​

I can be anyone I want
19 year old beauty from Vermont
Never got a chance to send out pics
I'm so glad cellphones didn't exist

​

90s kids with nothing to do
If only my parents knew
The dirty words coming out of my mouth
Probably to a 50 year old in the south

​

Won't tell you my true ASL
Waiting on a Hot Pocket, might as well
Won't put you on my buddy list
Just let me cyber suck your dick

​

I can be anyone I want
19 year old beauty from Vermont
Never got a chance to send out pics
I'm so glad cellphones didn't exist
I'm so glad cellphones didn't exist

Roll of duct tape and a busted PA

Bougie scum hits us with a noise complaint

Oh, oh no!

Who called the cops on The Jingleman Lounge?

Oh, oh no!

Who called the cops on The Jingleman Lounge?

Flew from Pennsylvania just to watch us play

7pm is much, much too late

Both my parents saw me giving drugs away

Pounding beers in the car on the way to Trunk Space

Oh, oh no!

Who called the cops on The Jingleman Lounge?

Oh, oh no!

Who called the cops on The Jingleman Lounge?

Yuppies peaking out behind the windowpane

Brown-nosing bozos with worms in their brains

93 dollars in fines to pay

Heard the Coronado has seen better days

Back into the closet with me

I make all the pretty girls puke

Less girlfriend and more drinking buddy

I make all the pretty girls puke

Spewing in a pint glass at Bikini Lounge

Make out sesh, graffiti underground

Fake ID and she's spinning around

Liquor won't stick and I'm Tinder-bound

Back into the closet with me

I make all the pretty girls puke

Less girlfriend and more drinking buddy

I make all the pretty girls puke

Bust my lip open on a garden bench

Cruising work wifi leaves me full of dread

Covering my eyes before I hit send

Once in a parking lot and never again

Back into the closet with me

I make all the pretty girls puke

Less girlfriend and more drinking buddy

I make all the pretty girls puke

Judge said I

Earned a gold star

Start my day

In a cop car 

Borderline

Meat leaking

From my head

Clothes are gone 

This day is blessed

36’d

Emotional

Cosmonaut

Blow zeroes

Engaging launch

I can’t beat this

Breathalyzer

Won’t go back on

Stabilizers

Exorcist

Inside “house two”

Speaking tongues

My big debut

I called you

Summoning 

My escape craft

Please let this 

One be the last

It won’t be the last

Wyoming

I’m looking for a man in Thayne 

PRT

Tire fire in my brain

​

Down a grand

Away I go

Now I’m crying at Yellowstone

​

Screaming at the ceiling fan tonight

Have to end this party ‘cause I’ve gotta catch my flight

​

Telephone tears

She found my stash

Dr. Sessions, crack my back yeah (yeah!)

​

Shitty boss called me a whack job

If this trip doesn’t fix this up I swear I’m fucking gone

​

Pickled organs

Stress, it shows

The body really always knows

1, 2, 3, 4!

​

Relapse just three months away

It’s terminal, hip hip hooray

Gonna throw a big parade

When I see his car parked there Monday

Sniffs and smacks and loathsome things

Love when that tinnitus sings

Oh what joy the work week brings

Dunk my head in the hot springs

​

​

Rum and derby girls push back the dread

Anything to stop the autopsy in my bed

​

That was it

My pot of gold

Middle fingers, Old Faithful

​

Nausea

Rolling past the Grand Teton

Montana

What the hell have I done?

​

Down a grand

Away I go

Now I’m crying at Yellowstone

Now I’m crying at Yellowstone

Caught it on CCTV
Oh how your ears bleed
Plugs and white noise just don't work
So you're going out to sea

​

Maiden trip
No doctor's script
I can't keep in touch
Concede to the fact that
everything is fucked
I'd love to anchor down
But I hate you all so much

​

Been fired way too many times
But have some money saved
To hoist up sails for yuppies
Out on Tempe Town Lake

​

Maiden trip
No doctor's script
I can't keep in touch
Concede to the fact that
everything is fucked
I'd love to anchor down
But I hate you all so much

Her name is Peepee
Yeah she's so weepy
She's always crying
But I don't mind

​

Sitting on the couch
You know we're getting stoned
Watching too much wrestling cuz you left us all alone
Laying on the floor and staring at our phones
Waiting by the door for you to come home

​

Her name is Peepee
Yeah she's so sneaky
Misdirection
Stealing confections

​

Rotting on the couch when you leave us all alone
Booing Bobby Roode, you know we're getting stoned
Staring at the door
When are you coming home?
Come on baby boy, won't you give this dog a bone?

​

Her name is Peepee

Sorry mom
I'm joining the JOB squad
I've got a man I have to see about a title shot
Muscles twitch and quiver
Extinguisher delivers
Hold me underwater in the Mississippi River

​

Sorry boss
I can't shrug this one off
Crush a can for the working man
These actions have a cost
Corporate fucking CHUD
Steel cage from above
I'll wipe the spit off of my face with your blood

Jodi
Why'd you roll your eyes at me?
I know I'm pretty useless
Should've left him in the streets

​

Forgive me My big bad admin
Should've locked myself up in the laundry room instead
Haven't had the time
To get my bootstrap fixed
Atomic elbow drop from middle management
I'll drop him at the pound
And get back to my Sims
Throw me in a kennel
Can't affords pets or kids

​

Jodi
I still just can't believe
You'd take the time to educate
A piece of trash like me

​

Forgive me My big bad admin
Should've locked myself up in the laundry room instead
Haven't had the time
To get my bootstrap fixed
Atomic elbow drop from middle management
I'll drop him at the pound
And get back to my Sims
Throw me in a kennel
Can't affords pets or kids

​

Are you a millennial?
Are you a millennial?

Baby let's get fucked up
And find out who's to blame
The walls in their office could use some new stains
Resistant to arrest
Hey

​

Don't guzzle down that
Bacardi in despair
I've got a cocktail recipe that I'd like to share

​

Light it up downtown
And hurl it to the stars
Give a wink and nod
To passing cop cars
Kiss me through my ski mask
Ours

​

5-0 on his bike on the basketball court
Is not the kind of problem that we can't sort

​

Out with elbow grease
And a baseball bat
Swinging for the fences
Just like Cactus Jack
Kiss me through my ski mask
We can take it back

I used to be so flexible
I used to be so smart
I used to not need benzos to venture past my yard
I used to not drink alcohol
I used to try so hard

​

I don't wanna sit in the Steiner Recliner
I don't wanna sit in the Steiner Recliner
Please don't make me sit in the Steiner Recliner
I don't wanna sit in the Steiner Recliner

​

I never did go back to school
I never see my mom
I never took my risperdal or returned my psych doc's call
I never got those bad teeth drilled
I never stay too long

​

I don't wanna sit in the Steiner Recliner
I don't wanna sit in the Steiner Recliner
Please don't make me sit in the Steiner Recliner
I don't wanna sit in the Steiner Recliner

​

I'd rather not brush my hair
I'd rather not get dressed
I'd rather not go anywhere
I always get so stressed
I'd rather cut off both my ears
I'd rather be upset

Pizza, chicken wings
I can dip anything
Carrot sticks, celery - MOR RANCH!

​

French fries, onion rings
I can dip anything
Ranch, will you marry me? MOR RANCH!

​

My girlfriend's clit ring
I can dip anything
Some guys ding-a-ling - MOR RANCH!

​

Kibbles n bits, your mom's tits
I'm gonna dip it in - MOR RANCH!

​

Leather shoes, dead guys too
I would dip it in - SLOW RANCH!

​

Cherry pie, who am I?
Fuck it, where's the ranch - MOR RANCH!

​

Give me a packet while you jack it
Gimme that buttermilk - MOR RANCH!

​

Double beef bacon patty, feelin' like a real fatty
When I'm asking for - MOR RANCH!

​

Hidden valley, give me a spoon
Drown me in a ranch typhoon - MOR RANCH!

​

Don't kid yourself or your health
All you want is - MOR RANCH!

I got drunk at a Dead to Me show
And my friend Jesse took me home
Early 20s had me "By The Throat"
Still not sure that they've let go

​

I hit a parked car and drove off
In the Crescent Ballroom parking lot
How the fuck did no one call the cops?
Another night spent throwing up

​

It was my graduation night
Another drink, another fight
Broken window, this is not alright
This is gonna kill me, Jesus Christ

I don't really have the looks, so all I can offer you is pay
Women tend to like dairy, so I'll make this cheese my bae

​

Swiss cheese pervert, rollin' through my neighborhood
I wonder if the brand that he buys is any good
Holding up a cheese slice next to his junk
Swiss cheese pervert got a deli in his trunk

​

I've tried so many types, but swiss knows I like it best
It's eye patterns, it's textures, I'd rather have it than a woman's breast
I love the way it feels, let it be a slice or block
Let me hang out with you while I wear it around my cock

​

Swiss cheese pervert, rollin' through my neighborhood
I wonder if the brand that he buys is any good
Holding up a cheese slice next to his junk
Swiss cheese pervert got a deli in his trunk

​

I'll only eat mozzarella, I'd never eat a slice that I've screwed
Everyone always asks that, but I'm not that type of dude

Scenic route
Up past Bullhead
Fremont Street
El Cortez
Black mailbox
Mannequin head
Bomb me Nellis
Make me dead

​

375 northwest across Nevada
Wild years and craft root beers out in Tonopah

​

Freemasons
Desert days
Pink brothel
Alien babes
Clown motel
Miner's graves
UFOs
Klonopin haze

​

375 northwest across Nevada
Wild years and craft root beers out in Tonopah

​

Bullet holes
Females scream
Abandon hope
This isn't what it seems
This isn't what it seems
This isn't what it seems
This isn't what it seems
This isn't what it seems

If I swallow Lego bricks
Then maybe I can call in sick
Fraud and Mormon nepotism
Pros and cons of women's prison

​

Rent my day
Blister my brain
Employee HSA can't soak up the acid burn

​

Only means for me to seize
Fresh case of epilepsy
When I trade tabs of Depakote
In for marijuana smoke

​

Rent my day
Blister my brain
Employee HSA can't soak up the acid burn

​

Workers compensation clinic
Digestion in 30 minutes
Hearing test booth, forms of payment
Warm embrace of the pavement

You eat with your eyes first
And then with your body

​

Stop looking at my cunt
Stop looking at my cunt

​

I'm becoming my mom
And you look like your dad
So let's make some babies
And have them for lunch

​

Stop looking at my cunt
Stop looking at my cunt

​

We can all wear face masks
And white gloves on one hand
I'm already here
And I wanna meet you bare

​

I'm becoming my mom
And you look like your dad
So let's make some babies
And have them for lunch
Or dinner or for dessert

​

Stop looking at my cunt
Stop looking at my cunt
Stop looking at my cunt

It's all coming to get her now

Todd's got a knife and a gleam in his socket
Gonna go to the pool and cut a hole in is pocket
Touches your back and asks to sunblock it
Oh yeah baby, do you come here often?

​

Takes chicks on his jet ski up at the lake
Peeks into their cars when they're trying to change
Hides his intentions behind his sick shades
Handful of bikini when he goes over waves